There is a podcast called 99% Invisible, which is “about all the thought that goes into the things we don’t think about — the unnoticed architecture and design that shape our world.” Things like: “Why and How Airports aren’t exceptionally loud despite the amount of people,” and “how to communicate radioactivity to our descendants 10,000 years from now,” and “the design history of the octothorpe, the pound or hashtag symbol.” The podcast’s motto is “Always read the plaque,” which is a reminder that while there are hidden things all over, with some attention, we can notice them and learn something new.
It is exactly this kind of revelation, this moment of new knowledge and awareness about how the universe functions, that Yaakov’s encounter with God reveals to us. Yaakov lies down to sleep and has a mystical vision in a dream ending with God standing before him and recommitting to him and his family. Yaakov wakes up and says,
וַיִּיקַ֣ץ יַעֲקֹב֮ מִשְּׁנָתוֹ֒ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אָכֵן֙ יֵ֣שׁ ה׳ בַּמָּק֖וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה וְאָנֹכִ֖י לֹ֥א יָדָֽעְתִּי׃
And Yaakov’s sleep ended, and he said,
“Thus, there is God in this place, and I did not know it.”
This moment revealed something about the place, the universe, and Yaakov’s relationship with God. I think deep down, each of us yearns for this kind of spiritual connection with God, and the risk is that we might think to ourselves that this is the only way to get it.
That this mystical vision is the only way to build a relationship with God, and that if we have not had this, our connection with the Divine is invalid or non-existent. But this would be a misunderstanding. Yaakov continues his statement like this:
וַיִּירָא֙ וַיֹּאמַ֔ר מַה־נּוֹרָ֖א הַמָּק֣וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה
אֵ֣ין זֶ֗ה כִּ֚י אִם־בֵּ֣ית אֱלֹהִ֔ים וְזֶ֖ה שַׁ֥עַר הַשָּׁמָֽיִם׃
Awe-filled, he said, “How awesome is this place!
This is none other than the house of God, and this is a gateway to heaven.”
Why might Yaakov call this a gateway to heaven? This specific language teaches us that there are many gateways to God and the divine realms, to have emunah, faithfulness, and a connection with God. So, what other gates can we access?
We begin our mornings with the prayer, modeh ani:
מוֹדֶה אֲנִי לְפָנֶיךָ מֶלֶךְ חַי וְקַיָּם שֶהֶחֱזַרְתָּ בִּי נִשְׁמָתִי בְחֶמְלָה, רַבָּה אֱמוּנָתֶךָ:
I am grateful before you, everlasting ruler of life, who returns my soul to me with compassion, and your great faithfulness.
The Modeh Ani reminds us that gratitude is powerful. In Eli Sharabi’s book about his time as a hostage, he discusses how he encouraged his fellow captives to find things to be grateful for. At first, it was difficult, understandably, in the conditions they were surviving. But, with time and practice, they would be able to articulate many things they were thankful for.
In the Torah, the ladder of the angels was mutzav artzah, firmly established in the earth. This is what gratitude can do for us: it grounds us and roots us to what matters. Gratitude is a shaar hashamayim, a gateway to heaven.
One of my favorite teachings in the Talmud is about Rabbi Yose, who explains that he was always confused by a line in the Torah until he had a specific encounter. He was walking at night, when he noticed a blind man walking with a torch not that far away. He approaches the man and says, “Why would you be holding a torch, you cannot see!” The man responds that he holds it so that other people can see him and protect him from the brambles, bushes, and pits that he might encounter.
It is the lived experience of Rabbi Yose, and the human encounter, that enables him to understand the Torah and, thus, God. We might think that reading spiritual books and studying Torah alone will help us engage with the Divine. But no, actual human experiences in the world are an essential way of connecting with God. This too is a shaar hashamayim, a gateway to heaven.
And if we look deeper into that story, the man’s faith in other people, their capacity for goodness and kindness, this is another way we can experience God. It is not that every person out there is perfectly good all the time, it is the possibility of goodness! Our capacity to believe that belief is possible, the encouraging of possibility, the openness to the idea, this is a powerful gateway to heaven. This is the fundamental understanding of emunah, of faithfulness. The openness to kindness, from God and from other humans, allows us to open another gateway to heaven.
When God speaks to Yaakov in his vision, God invokes his father and grandfather, Isaac and Abraham. Reb Levi of Berdichev explains that each of them served God in their own way. Abraham served God from a place of love while Isaac served God from a place of fear, which, to his credit, seems more than fair. In the mystical tradition, Abraham represents the idea of chesed, loving-kindness, while Isaac represents din, justice, and rigidity.
Yaakov, Reb Levi explains, serves God from a combination of the two, tiferet, drawing from each in his own way, from love and kindness, and from awe, fear, and justice. Yaakov learns from his ancestors different ways of being, serving, and engaging with God. He charts his own path, taking from all that he’s learned and experienced. Our journeys of growth and learning are also a shaar hashamayim, a gateway to heaven.
So what does this encounter teach us? What does this verse:
I did not know וְאָנֹכִ֖י לֹ֥א יָדָֽעְתִּי׃
Come to teach us?
If you just read the English, you miss an important word: anochi. Because you can say, I did not know by just saying, lo yadati. The anochi isn’t necessary for the sentence to make sense.
But anochi is a powerful word. Anochi carries with it a sense of intimacy, used in the Torah when there is a special encounter happening. God says anochi when giving the Ten Commandments. God says anochi in the v’ahavta, the first paragraph of the Shema.
Anochi carries vulnerability, for this is how Adam HaRishon, the first human, refers to himself in the garden. When God says, Where are you? Adam HaRishon says, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” Because I, anochi, was naked.
Anochi v’lo yadati
“I” did not know.
This moment in the Torah is an invitation. To see that God is everywhere, inviting us into relationship, that there are gates of heaven everywhere.
From mystical experiences to lived experiences. From gratitude to faithfulness. From love and fear, and from chesed and din. From learning and growing, to vulnerability.
Like the name of the podcast, 99% invisible, without looking closely, thinking deeply, and seeking out the spiritual plaques hidden everywhere, we might miss what is right in front of us.
Each and every one of these gates is open to us. Not all of them will be right for us at every moment. We must draw on the wisdom that emerges in that time and place, to recognize its uniqueness, and to chart our own path, building our own relationship with the Divine.