What happens when we lift our burdens together?
In the Talmud, it says:
Rava said to Rabba bar Mari: From where is this common saying derived? If you lift the load with me I will lift it, and if not, I won’t lift it? He said to him as it is written with regard to Barak and Deborah and the war of Sisera:
“And Barak said to her: If you will go with me, then I will go; but if you will not go with me, I will not go” (Judges 4:8).
This is a kind and lovely sentiment about going together to accomplish a task. In the case of Barak and Deborah, it is about war, but in the case of our Talmudic scholars, it is a part of every day parlance.
When we step back, we can wonder if the rabbis were really curious about the source of this saying or really wanted to connect common language to the Tanakh. We’ll probably never know for sure. What we can be sure of is that the rabbis heard people say this.
Perhaps Rava heard it in the market on his way to the study hall. Walking and wondering, why did that person say this? I can imagine him laying in bed that night, rolling over, tossing and turning, asking himself, “I’ve heard this saying before, why do we say this? Why wouldn’t they just help?” I’ve certainly experienced my own loss of sleep thinking about what I or someone else said in a conversation.
Rashi comments on this section and says the following:
If you lift the load [with me], I will lift it – If you lift and carry the load with me, I will lift the load is a metaphor. Because a person does not want to enter into a dangerous financial situation and be under the burden of the thing. Unless their friend shares it with them.
Rashi brings us a little reality. People are afraid of the financial loss that might occur if they stick their neck out for another. A little less serious than battle, but a real part of people’s lives.
We all encounter this fear when we take a risk for someone else. We hope that they will do the same for us, protect us when we are acting for their benefit. It might be financial, political, or some other context.
One one level, this is a good and honest reflection of how we interact with one another. We try to mitigate the risks we encounter when we carry a burden with another. On the other hand, most burdens in life are easier when we share them.
What might it look like if we were all more willing to take the risk and carry one another’s burden?