In my first month working as a rabbi, I realized that I was over my head.

What did I do?

I called five people I knew who were doing similar work and asked them questions. I asked them things like:

What does your work look like?
How often do you do that?
What did you need to accomplish that?

I listened. I took notes. And the next day, I started implementing the lessons I learned from them immediately. Some things worked, some didn’t. I figured out what was best for me, my work, and my people, and over time things improved.

The key: I would not have done any of it if I had not asked for help.

One thing I’ve noticed in my years in the rabbinate is that we are so afraid to ask for real help, admit vulnerability, and make some changes, despite the fact:

• People are generally happy to support you.
• It is ok to learn from other’s experiences.
• You don’t have to do it the hard way.
• We can’t know everything.

So, if you need permission to ask for help with your work, you have it.